abundant silence

IMG_0791the matchbox is my haven

the only place i’ve been truly safe.

able to create…

a place to concentrate.

i must be magical to do what i did

able to turn off   tune out   go away

distort    bend time   change time

distort me  and  time

the place, the people

my tongue as big as the room

me, as tiny as an ant

i was so still there

so still    barely even a breath

secret even to myself

whole lives go on around me

no one sees me  it’s best this way

no angels. no family. no friends.

here, i am invisible.

to be invisible takes total & utter concentration

focus on one point- only

until you don’t know anything else

barely a breath

not one movement

don’t worry, nothing can distract me

practice.

in practicing, i create safety and knowing

then…at the flip of a switch

i’m there      i’m gone.

i wasn’t just invisible, i was safe

enclosed from further anything

i was untouchable – while my body was

being touched & tortured & raped.

there was no dancing.

that was over

no silliness….just work at perfecting

my sanctuary. my inner matchbox.

inner matchbox exists in my calves

and the center of my head.

thoroughly abundant in my silence

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